A change is gonna come

A big hello to those of you who continue to follow my blog and a howdy to those of you who are new. I have not written anything in a few days. The struggle is real, between working on my Kickstarter campaign, book two, and the day-to-day life, I have been a bit exhausted. Like most, when you are trying to make the impossible possible, it can be taxing, more mentally then physically. While listening to one if my favorite rendition (Lauryn Hill) of the song A Change is Gonna Come, there was a particular line that always struck a chord with me, especially when I was feeling down and almost out for the count. The line goes, “there were times when I did not think, that I would last for long, but now we think we’re able to carry on. Key word “we”.

We is a very powerful word to me. As much as we always hear, you have to be self-sufficient or you don’t need anyone else to be happy, people often forget that wewere built biologically to be a team. I promise you will see my point soon so stay with me here. I was having a conversation with an amazing friend and she was so pissed because there was a guy entering the onramp to the highway like he was running from the cops and almost caused an accident. This sparked a conversation that led to us both asking, why are there so many inconsiderate people out there? I immediately stated, it’s because we are being taught to be that way. It’s all about the me these days. Even the best of the best motivational speakers heavily relies on the me/I approach. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with the idea of being self-sufficient, however, in doing so, we become more selfish and less thoughtful people.

There always has to be a balance. The single most important thing in the word that I value the most, is my connection to those who I hold dear. Think about it. You can have all the money in the world and do everything that you heart desire. But what does any of those things count for if you have no one to share them with. If you have been following my blogs, you know that I am the kind of person that will give you the shirt off my back If you were cold. I feel that nothing in life is worth more than having a connection with those around us. Imaging the word if the majority believed in equality and placed value on supporting others.

I have always been the guy who never ask for help because I would try my hardest to not be a burden to anyone and always believed that I needed to be the one to help others, I guess a bit of a hero complex. The sad part to that was that in a past relationship, the girl I was dating was a bit sad because she felt I robbed her of the joy of being there for me, because I never asked for help with anything, not even cooking. I mentioned that because it can become easy to only think of what you want which can cause you to unconsciously become selfish which can have a larger impact on your entire life. I believe that if we can change the concept of the “I” to the “we”, not only would our own lives improve, but we would also help to improve the lives of others, especially those we care for.

Imagine how great you would feel if all of your friends, seeing your struggle, one day come to you and ask, “I see you trying to accomplish such and such, how can I help?” I am pretty sure you would feel amazing on top of probably getting to your goals quicker. Now imagine that you have a friend and you did that for them. I am that guy, when I see anyone that I know doing anything, I ask, hey how can I help. There are even times I may not even ask, I just do. I strongly believe that if we all begin to adapt this sort of tribal mentality, we can help bring this world one step closer to a better place much like the premise behind the famous Star Trek. If you are unfamiliar with the series, basically part of the plot was that mankind reached a point where they solved all of earths problems with war and such and was able to dedicate resources to space exploration.

With all that said, it brings me back to the title of the blog. I believe if enough of us adopt the idea of the “we” Change will come. I highly recommend listening to the song and maybe like me, it will speak to your heart and soul. https://youtu.be/_71MR8Fd6oY


What am I doing here?

So, as the title asks, this is something I have been thinking lately. What are my goals and why are they my goals? More and more as these days go by, I see that I spend my time thinking on how I can improve on my social media presence vs how can I just be. 

I guess It would be great if I can adopt the field of dreams concept, “if you build it, they will come”. First off, I would like to say I am extremely grateful for accomplishing 2 of my primary goals in life. One is publishing a book, and two, my writing having a positive impact in someone’s life. A person who I barely knew stated, after reading my book, they were reminded why they loved to read. I was like whoa, that’s heavy. It felt nice that my book had that kind of impact on someone.

It has been a struggle for me to get to this stage. I never really considering a career in writing. As far back as I can remember, I did it for the love and enjoyment. I have been sitting on my book for over 10 years. Many times, it was my life line when things got rough. I never set out to be the greatest writer of all time. I have a passion for storytelling. In my early years, I wanting to work in the movie industry simply to be around creative people and be a part of what I called something special. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have done a lot of things in life that I am proud of, including having a successful graphic design company for 6 years before I decided to change directions. Unfortunately, with my writing, I waited so long to decide to throw caution to the wind and get my hands dirty. There are thousands upon thousands of talented writers out there. The sheer though can be intimidating, which brings me to my original thought. We all crave to have our voice heard and strive for purpose. If you remember from one of my previous blogs, impacting someone life positively is like a drug to me. With all that said, I am grateful to those of you who find the time to read my thoughts, especially if you choose to follow me. I would hope that you follow because you find value in the content that I produce. 

If I am to be honest, I am doing all of this so that I can give some insight to who I am and to bring awareness to my novels. If you like what you are seeing/reading, then I am sure that you would love my book. My stories are a reflection of me. While its difficult to bring originality, I would like to believe that the content that I release is as original as I can create it. I have created a world from the ground up, as a matter of fact, you can say I started at the beginning, the proverbial big bang.

I welcome everyone to give my work a chance and see if it’s something you can get down with. Speaking from my inner being, I rather keep you entertained with my novels then thinking of ways to stay relevant on social media. Not that I don’t enjoy making a statement that makes you think or laugh. My goal is to take you to another world where you can experience those things and more. Much love to those who continue to support and help fuel the flame of my desires.

Marathon girl

Found this, while trolling through my collection of relationship poems I have written in the past.

Marathon girl

We prepare, for the long challenge ahead,

steadfast, mind clear, focused on the goal instead

Without thought of the unknown we begin to vision the course of the move,

Not fully sure of the twist and turns that lay before us with much to prove.


It starts with a step, then another, then another until we begin to walk,

The pace escalates faster and faster, not much time to talk.


With every placement of one foot in front of the other,

We seem to move in sync, oblivious to pot holes and gutters. 


By now it’s no longer a slow and steady stride, 

It’s now something more, yes more, as the winds of life begin to fly by.


The pace increases faster and faster to the surprise of many,

More bumps, more cracks, more detours, enough to call them plenty.


From walk, to stride, from stride to jog and soon to run,

Many years and tears, and fears, are overcome.


Without any warning or notice the wall we do hit,

But perseverance and determination we must keep going, we must not quit.


With every ounce of strength and through sheer will of heart,

We pick up again, once again we move as both of our feet do part. 


How long will this marathon of life we have enter will last or we will see through,

I can’t say for certain but I’ll continue to run it with you. 


Thankful or appreciative

Howdy howdy howdy, it’s been a couple days since I blogged about anything. Like most, I do go through periods of the meh… Keeping motivated can be a choir at times, especially when you have big goals and you wonder if you will achieve them. With that said this post is inspired by a question I ask myself from time to time. To be thanked or appreciated. We all know words have different weight to them, and you often hear, words have power or choose your words wisely. The messenger in the movie 300 learned this the hard way. “This is Sparta!” was the last words he heard before being kicked into the pit from which no one returns.

You may say, well these things are the same. In some instance they can be but from my perspective, I find that I thank people often, and I rarely say I appreciate you. I have made it my goal to let people know that I appreciate them, here is why. 

When I think of the concept of thankful, I think of telling someone, great job, or more like a pat on the back. It’s something that you say to a person when you want to let them know they did something nice or something that is more like an average pleasantry. It’s to let someone know that you acknowledge them. I mean we say thank you whenever someone sneezes, and they say bless you. Thank you to me, holds a weight or meaning of something nice but average. I don’t feel special when someone says thank you. I realized that if I feel this way, maybe others also feel the same.

I decided to that I needed another way to express my sincere feelings to those who make a difference in my life. To me, when you tell someone I appreciate you, it sends a very different message. In my opinion it means that you acknowledge a person but also lets them know that they have a meaning beyond purpose. I will relate my definition in true fashion of my blogs and relate them to the book.

As an author starting out, we are hungry for reviews. When we finally get one, especially if it’s a nice review, we feel emotionally attached it to, because of what it can do for us. The fact that someone gave our work a chance. The feeling that this one review can make the difference. I am willing to bet that the feeling you have is so great that you want to name your next born after that person because you appreciate the efforts this individual has put into you. On the other hand, let say we fast forward and now you get reviews by the crap load, do you feel the same way you did about those first few? I tend to believe that the emotion dies down and while you are thankful for those reviews, I don’t believe you are still appreciative because its less special now. 

I want to remind myself that it is important to always appreciate the people in our lives no matter what level we are in our status. It is quite easy to be appreciative and then become thankful. Neither are bad, however, to the recipient of the two, one is always much more substantial and will always allow that person to feel important to you rather than just another person in your life.

Lastly, I stated all of this so you, the reader of this blog or any of my content, can know that I genuinely appreciate you for being a part of this portion of my journey with following my dreams and believing that it’s never too late to do what you enjoy the most.

We are who we are

Hey guys, so I was not planning on writing anything until later, but I received a very nice comment on my Instagram account which inspired me to write this blog. The title of this post can also be another one of these debatable topics so in light of the reason for the post as well as delving into the characters in my novel, this is the perfect subject matter. In my work, I put my heart and soul into each page. Like the character Lesant who is driven by who he is, I also live by this. Stay with me now as I explain.


As a young kid, I would say I had to be somewhere between 5 and 8. I remember places not time when I think back, and the places of my memories happened when I lived in a particular area, which is how I get my age. I used to always tell my mom that I wanted to be a lab technician so I can help find cures to diseases. Now I known what you are thinking, what kid at that age knows anything about lab technicians or diseases. My mom was a nurse and I use to rummage through her medical books, and she would take the time to explain certain things and I guess certain parts stood out. Okay back to point. As I grew older, that though stuck with me, but my interest took a bit of a change to the world of science and discovery. I remember my 9th grade science fair project was to build a suspension bridge using magnetic forces. Without giving away my age lol, those sorts of things were not discussed in my circles and there was no internet. I somehow managed to use my imagination and dream that up based on my limited knowledge of magnetism. Fast forward a bit and when I heard that a group of students from a well to do university was working on such a thing in my adult years, I though, wow if only I had a mentor into that kind of thing. 


Any ways, so back to the story. I ended up in advance classes for English and Science and I was always the guy my friends turned to when they needed help. I joined the Co OP program because they helped special needs children. Unfortunately, due to life, we moved around often. I went to 4 high schools. My mother and step father did their best. In my senior year I learned about a thing called psychology and I was just as happy as a child with a new toy on Christmas. I thought I found my calling. I would learn this new-found thing and help to the people’s minds. Again, life happened. Since I had extra class credits due to the advances classes, I joined the Deca program so I can go to school for a half day and work a job the rest as credit so I could help pay the bill’s due to being in a low income family.


I always felt this call to help others. Just about every job I held a position in, I took joy in the fact I was able to help someone. I would often go out my way to look out for those around me. I remember a moment at one of my jobs where this guy came in soak and wet from the rain. While others immediately began to tease and make fun, my initial instinct was to storm into the manager’s office and demand a dry fresh shirt for the guy as it is always cold and in that environment people can easily get sick. I’m often reminded of this by one of my friends that witnessed the incident as a joke to how I always rush in to help or save someone. The bad part about this part of my personality is that I can often try hard or put my own self in jeopardy for the sake of others. I had to learn to balance this uncontrollable urge to jump into the fire without thought but never the less it remains.


I know this is getting long but I said all of that to make my point. We are who we are no matter how much we want to do or be something else. I once heard something like, if you go sleep with a thing on your mind, you wake up with that thing on your mind, and during the day you have that thing on your mind, you should be doing that thing. We often run from our callings or don’t pay attention to it. In the end we are who we are and often feel unfulfilled because we are not doing the thing that drives us. I have very few regrets in life, I can count them on half of a hand. The one that sticks out the most is that I waited so long, wasted so many years of my life not pursuing being a writer. The whole of my life I always wrote short stories, or shared these ideas with others, I even went to school to learn special effects because I thought that may be my way into the movie industry. I realize that while I may not have a cure for a disease or have an office with a chair and couch, I can still use my words to help Inspire, invigorate, and put a smile on someone’s face which in turn, can help lead to a better world. 

The heart wants what the heart wants

desire 2

In keeping in spirits with quotes from my novels. I decided to title this blog. The heart wants what the heart wants. Now before anyone go and say, “that’s not an original quote,” I am sure at some point in existence someone has stated these exact words. This has been a phrase that has been with me for as long as I can remember becoming self-aware.

While working on Children of Adaban Legacy Book Two, one of the four main characters is all about following her feelings that stems from the desires of her heart. These desires are something that is not considered acceptable by those around her. She is led by this quote as it is one of the last things her father states to her before sacrificing himself in the hopes of her survival.

This statement holds a deep meaning for me as it is also something that many can relate to. We all too often make decisions based on our desires even if those choices steer us down to the deepest and darkest abyss. I compare desire to an addictive drug habit. There are times where we may realize that a desire may prove to be unsafe, unhealthy, or just not wise. It is extremely difficult to purge these emotions, they feel like a perpetual unquenchable need.

Desires can be considered something that inspires wonderful or great ideas but can also be associated with things that are considered taboo or unspeakable. Whatever one’s desires are, we can all agree that when it’s something that a person wants and it turns into a burning desire, there is very little that anyone can to do dissuade an individual from them. I believe we all have such desires and while some, we choose to act upon, others we keep buried deep down inside for fear of what those around us may think.

Unfortunately, depending on where you live in the world your desires may be praised or frowned upon. I find that this is a topic most would dare to stay away from because this can go so many directions which typically leads people to thoughts of morality or political correctness.

While I pride myself in my ability to never judge anyone and always try to be the one who wants to understand the “why” behind things, I often find myself making statements like, as long as that person is not causing harm to another or impeding on anyone else’s rights as a human being, let them be. Again, this type of blog or way of thinking can go so many directions and its not my intentions to say what I think it good or bad, wright or wrong. Its just to give my thoughts on the idea that the heart wants what the heart wants and that we are all its victims.

Who are we really?

“I am alone, and in my seclusion, I find solace. In a world where I hold no ties to anything of note or care to, can I truly be free? In the great void amongst a world of substance without substance, I am alone. I am per­fectly fine in that great nothingness and wish to no longer be disturbed.” -Sanai-

This a quote from my novel and found at the start of the book of Sanai. The characters in my novel all represents an emotion or rather yet, a mentality that we have all felt at one point or the other. Sanai is a person who is led by her faith. While she does harbor care for humanity, over time she slowly begins to succumb to the reality of life and view her world for what it really is vs what has been taught to her.

                Personally, this is something that I feel we all experience. As we get older or as our own ideology matures, we begin to view the world differently. If you were to find out a truth that shatters everything you believe in, then you would be faced with the realization that everything you stood for or believe in was built upon someone else’s version of the truth and maybe not actual truths. How do you suppose you would deal with that sort of situation?

                As we grow and explore our world, we begin to realize that it Is based upon an idea. Weather that idea is something that you hold dear or completely oblivious to, it exists. When you think about it, I mean really think it over, just about everything we know has been passed down from generation to generation. Each culture has their own set of beliefs and way of life. If it was not for invading forces that successfully stomped out less protected civilizations, we may have a very different view of our word. Unfortunately, ideas are passed on and assimilated. Ultimately, as a human being, we should challenge ourselves to always be open minded and not let ourselves get bogged down by someone else’s version of our reality.