What am I doing here?

So, as the title asks, this is something I have been thinking lately. What are my goals and why are they my goals? More and more as these days go by, I see that I spend my time thinking on how I can improve on my social media presence vs how can I just be.

I guess It would be great if I can adopt the field of dreams concept, “if you build it, they will come”. First off, I would like to say I am extremely grateful for accomplishing 2 of my primary goals in life. One is publishing a book, and two, my writing having a positive impact in someone’s life. A person who I barely knew stated, after reading my book, they were reminded why they loved to read. I was like whoa, that’s heavy. It felt nice that my book had that kind of impact on someone.

It has been a struggle for me to get to this stage. I never really considering a career in writing. As far back as I can remember, I did it for the love and enjoyment. I have been sitting on my book for over 10 years. Many times, it was my life line when things got rough. I never set out to be the greatest writer of all time. I have a passion for storytelling. In my early years, I wanting to work in the movie industry simply to be around creative people and be a part of what I called something special.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done a lot of things in life that I am proud of, including having a successful graphic design company for 6 years before I decided to change directions. Unfortunately, with my writing, I waited so long to decide to throw caution to the wind and get my hands dirty. There are thousands upon thousands of talented writers out there. The sheer though can be intimidating, which brings me to my original thought. We all crave to have our voice heard and strive for purpose. If you remember from one of my previous blogs, impacting someone life positively is like a drug to me. With all that said, I am grateful to those of you who find the time to read my thoughts, especially if you choose to follow me. I would hope that you follow because you find value in the content that I produce.

If I am to be honest, I am doing all of this so that I can give some insight to who I am and to bring awareness to my novels. If you like what you are seeing/reading, then I am sure that you would love my book. My stories are a reflection of me. While its difficult to bring originality, I would like to believe that the content that I release is as original as I can create it. I have created a world from the ground up, as a matter of fact, you can say I started at the beginning, the proverbial big bang.

I welcome everyone to give my work a chance and see if it’s something you can get down with. Speaking from my inner being, I rather keep you entertained with my novels then thinking of ways to stay relevant on social media. Not that I don’t enjoy making a statement that makes you think or laugh. My goal is to take you to another world where you can experience those things and more. Much love to those who continue to support and help fuel the flame of my desires.

The heart wants what the heart wants

desire 2

In keeping in spirits with quotes from my novels. I decided to title this blog. The heart wants what the heart wants. Now before anyone go and say, “that’s not an original quote,” I am sure at some point in existence someone has stated these exact words. This has been a phrase that has been with me for as long as I can remember becoming self-aware.

While working on Children of Adaban Legacy Book Two, one of the four main characters is all about following her feelings that stems from the desires of her heart. These desires are something that is not considered acceptable by those around her. She is led by this quote as it is one of the last things her father states to her before sacrificing himself in the hopes of her survival.

This statement holds a deep meaning for me as it is also something that many can relate to. We all too often make decisions based on our desires even if those choices steer us down to the deepest and darkest abyss. I compare desire to an addictive drug habit. There are times where we may realize that a desire may prove to be unsafe, unhealthy, or just not wise. It is extremely difficult to purge these emotions, they feel like a perpetual unquenchable need.

Desires can be considered something that inspires wonderful or great ideas but can also be associated with things that are considered taboo or unspeakable. Whatever one’s desires are, we can all agree that when it’s something that a person wants and it turns into a burning desire, there is very little that anyone can to do dissuade an individual from them. I believe we all have such desires and while some, we choose to act upon, others we keep buried deep down inside for fear of what those around us may think.

Unfortunately, depending on where you live in the world your desires may be praised or frowned upon. I find that this is a topic most would dare to stay away from because this can go so many directions which typically leads people to thoughts of morality or political correctness.

While I pride myself in my ability to never judge anyone and always try to be the one who wants to understand the “why” behind things, I often find myself making statements like, as long as that person is not causing harm to another or impeding on anyone else’s rights as a human being, let them be. Again, this type of blog or way of thinking can go so many directions and its not my intentions to say what I think it good or bad, wright or wrong. Its just to give my thoughts on the idea that the heart wants what the heart wants and that we are all its victims.

Who are we really?

“I am alone, and in my seclusion, I find solace. In a world where I hold no ties to anything of note or care to, can I truly be free? In the great void amongst a world of substance without substance, I am alone. I am perfectly fine in that great nothingness and wish to no longer be disturbed.” -Sanai-

This a quote from my novel and found at the start of the book of Sanai. The characters in my novel all represents an emotion or rather yet, a mentality that we have all felt at one point or the other. Sanai is a person who is led by her faith. While she does harbor care for humanity, over time she slowly begins to succumb to the reality of life and view her world for what it really is vs what has been taught to her.

Personally, this is something that I feel we all experience. As we get older or as our own ideology matures, we begin to view the world differently. If you were to find out a truth that shatters everything you believe in, then you would be faced with the realization that everything you stood for or believe in was built upon someone else’s version of the truth and maybe not actual truths. How do you suppose you would deal with that sort of situation?

As we grow and explore our world, we begin to realize that it Is based upon an idea. Weather that idea is something that you hold dear or completely oblivious to, it exists. When you think about it, I mean really think it over, just about everything we know has been passed down from generation to generation. Each culture has their own set of beliefs and way of life. If it was not for invading forces that successfully stomped out less protected civilizations, we may have a very different view of our word. Unfortunately, ideas are passed on and assimilated. Ultimately, as a human being, we should challenge ourselves to always be open minded and not let ourselves get bogged down by someone else’s version of our reality.