What am I doing here?

So, as the title asks, this is something I have been thinking lately. What are my goals and why are they my goals? More and more as these days go by, I see that I spend my time thinking on how I can improve on my social media presence vs how can I just be.

I guess It would be great if I can adopt the field of dreams concept, “if you build it, they will come”. First off, I would like to say I am extremely grateful for accomplishing 2 of my primary goals in life. One is publishing a book, and two, my writing having a positive impact in someone’s life. A person who I barely knew stated, after reading my book, they were reminded why they loved to read. I was like whoa, that’s heavy. It felt nice that my book had that kind of impact on someone.

It has been a struggle for me to get to this stage. I never really considering a career in writing. As far back as I can remember, I did it for the love and enjoyment. I have been sitting on my book for over 10 years. Many times, it was my life line when things got rough. I never set out to be the greatest writer of all time. I have a passion for storytelling. In my early years, I wanting to work in the movie industry simply to be around creative people and be a part of what I called something special.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done a lot of things in life that I am proud of, including having a successful graphic design company for 6 years before I decided to change directions. Unfortunately, with my writing, I waited so long to decide to throw caution to the wind and get my hands dirty. There are thousands upon thousands of talented writers out there. The sheer though can be intimidating, which brings me to my original thought. We all crave to have our voice heard and strive for purpose. If you remember from one of my previous blogs, impacting someone life positively is like a drug to me. With all that said, I am grateful to those of you who find the time to read my thoughts, especially if you choose to follow me. I would hope that you follow because you find value in the content that I produce.

If I am to be honest, I am doing all of this so that I can give some insight to who I am and to bring awareness to my novels. If you like what you are seeing/reading, then I am sure that you would love my book. My stories are a reflection of me. While its difficult to bring originality, I would like to believe that the content that I release is as original as I can create it. I have created a world from the ground up, as a matter of fact, you can say I started at the beginning, the proverbial big bang.

I welcome everyone to give my work a chance and see if it’s something you can get down with. Speaking from my inner being, I rather keep you entertained with my novels then thinking of ways to stay relevant on social media. Not that I don’t enjoy making a statement that makes you think or laugh. My goal is to take you to another world where you can experience those things and more. Much love to those who continue to support and help fuel the flame of my desires.

The heart wants what the heart wants

desire 2

In keeping in spirits with quotes from my novels. I decided to title this blog. The heart wants what the heart wants. Now before anyone go and say, “that’s not an original quote,” I am sure at some point in existence someone has stated these exact words. This has been a phrase that has been with me for as long as I can remember becoming self-aware.

While working on Children of Adaban Legacy Book Two, one of the four main characters is all about following her feelings that stems from the desires of her heart. These desires are something that is not considered acceptable by those around her. She is led by this quote as it is one of the last things her father states to her before sacrificing himself in the hopes of her survival.

This statement holds a deep meaning for me as it is also something that many can relate to. We all too often make decisions based on our desires even if those choices steer us down to the deepest and darkest abyss. I compare desire to an addictive drug habit. There are times where we may realize that a desire may prove to be unsafe, unhealthy, or just not wise. It is extremely difficult to purge these emotions, they feel like a perpetual unquenchable need.

Desires can be considered something that inspires wonderful or great ideas but can also be associated with things that are considered taboo or unspeakable. Whatever one’s desires are, we can all agree that when it’s something that a person wants and it turns into a burning desire, there is very little that anyone can to do dissuade an individual from them. I believe we all have such desires and while some, we choose to act upon, others we keep buried deep down inside for fear of what those around us may think.

Unfortunately, depending on where you live in the world your desires may be praised or frowned upon. I find that this is a topic most would dare to stay away from because this can go so many directions which typically leads people to thoughts of morality or political correctness.

While I pride myself in my ability to never judge anyone and always try to be the one who wants to understand the “why” behind things, I often find myself making statements like, as long as that person is not causing harm to another or impeding on anyone else’s rights as a human being, let them be. Again, this type of blog or way of thinking can go so many directions and its not my intentions to say what I think it good or bad, wright or wrong. Its just to give my thoughts on the idea that the heart wants what the heart wants and that we are all its victims.

Writer’s voice

I received probably one of the best pre-reviews so far. Those who know me understand that my goal was to perfect my writing style to reflect one thing. I wanted my readers to feel as though they were watching a movie. Much like what happens when you read subtitles. You forget you are reading.

I painstakingly removed as much narrative as humanly possible without losing context. So, every time I hear feedback like what I will share further down, it warms my heart because I was able to accomplish something dear to me with my works.

I was told things like, “I don’t think you have found your writers voice” due to my style of not following traditions. I remember someone jokingly asked, “are you writing a movie or a book, because you have a beautiful script not a book” as to say I should rethink how I choose to share my craft.

I took every criticism as a positive, which helped me to understand I need a way to blend the traditional with who I am. As an artist, we constantly evolve to better versions of ourselves.

One of my dearest friends passed my book to his mother in law, someone whom I have had no prior contact with, and asked what did she think so far…

“I’m enjoying Children of Adaban so far. On pg 40. To me, it’s good cuz it reads like a movie. Very descriptive & a minimum of violence. I LIKE it!! It seems very futuristic but the dialogue is in today’s language so it’s relatable. I’m now thinking of impending romance developing between Lesant , Beliza & the new, younger female they just found (whose parents were killed). I’m enjoying it. Should be mandatory reading in schools.”

With that said, as a writer we are always on the hunt for our writer’s voice. As I have stated time and time again, I am at the beginning of my journey. Feedback like that helps to validate my own personal goals and gives me the courage to continue to fight the good fight as I contented with the immense number of talented artist out there.

To everyone who dare to have their writing be different or not follow the norm, never give up on your style. Writing is an art form and don’t worry because others will get you!

Even on the darkest of nights the dimmest star shine bright.

One of my favorite quotes to come out of my novel. This signifies that we are all special. We all in some way has had an impact in someone’s life for the better.

A great friend of mine, who often suffered with major depression due to the almost unbearable series of events in their life, was on the brink of self destruction. There was even a point where I was asked to help end it all.

It was not an easy road but now this person is thriving and has found happiness. I usually ask this person to share their story because it is one that is sure to help and inspire others. This person managed to keep fighting while holding on by that last sliver of fiber attached to a rope ready to break at any moment.

I find that when I am in a mood, this person has been a beacon of hope in my life and a constant reminder that no matter how hard things may seem, keep fighting.

Even when everything you hold dear come crashing down, and the weight of it all makes is impossible to catch a breath, Keep inhaling.

Even when the light inside of you that once burned as bright as the sun, fade to that of the furthest star barely visible with the most powerful telescope, keep shining.

We all have various degrees of good and bad times. All to often it’s easy to give in to the feelings of despair when we feel the weight of our circumstances.

My advice… Remember that others are feeling the same and you being able to overcome your struggles, may be a beacon of light to someone else who may be in a dark place themselves.